Caring for someone with dementia: what helps day to day

Start with a real diagnosis

Memory loss has many causes, and some are treatable. If nobody has done a full evaluation, ask the doctor for one. Knowing the kind of dementia helps you plan and helps the doctor guide care.

What tends to help

• Keep a steady routine: meals, walks, and bedtime at the same times.
• Simplify: one step at a time, two choices instead of ten.
• Respond to the feeling, not the facts. Arguing about what is true rarely works; comfort usually does.
• Watch for triggers like hunger, pain, noise, or a need for the bathroom before assuming it is the disease.
• Plan the hard part of the day. Late afternoon and evening are often harder; keep them quiet.

Safety to settle early

• Driving: ask the doctor to weigh in, so the decision is not only yours.
• Wandering: an ID bracelet, locks placed high or low, and a recent photo on your phone.
• The stove, medicines, firearms, and car keys.
• Money: watch for scams and missed bills; set up a power of attorney while they can still take part.

Plan while they can take part

The health care proxy and power of attorney are much easier while the person can still understand and sign. An elder law attorney can help; the planning conversation article has ways to start.

You need backup

Dementia caregiving is long. Adult day programs, respite stays, support groups, and a few hours of home care are not giving up. The Alzheimer's Association helpline answers at any hour, for any kind of dementia: 1-800-272-3900.