Getting started2 min read
Where to start when a parent needs more help
Something changed: a fall, a diagnosis, a call from a neighbor. Six steps for the first week, in order, so you are not trying to do everything at once.
Written and reviewed by Cardinal Care Advisors, Buffalo, New York. Published September 26, 2026.
For me as a caregiver
Breathe, then write it down
Before you call anyone, write down what has changed and when you noticed it. Dates, falls, missed medicines, a scary drive. Doctors, advisors, and agencies will all ask, and a short list beats a memory at 2am.
The first week, in order
- Book a visit with their doctor about the change, and go with them if you can. Ask what might be causing it and whether anything can be treated.
- Find the basics: insurance cards, the medication list, and whether a health care proxy and power of attorney exist. Our paperwork checklist has the full list.
- Get a rough money picture: monthly income, savings, any long-term care insurance, veteran status. You do not need exact numbers yet.
- Call NY Connects, 1-800-342-9871, or the county Office for the Aging. It is free and they know what exists locally.
- Pick a point person in the family and tell everyone else what they can do. A shared calendar prevents a lot of arguments.
- Decide what is urgent and what can wait. Safety comes first; the big decisions rarely have to be made this week.
Before you call anyone, write down what has changed and when you noticed it.
Talk with them, not about them
Whenever you can, the person should be in the conversation and in the decisions. Ask what they are worried about and what matters most to them. People accept help more easily when it protects something they care about, like staying in their own home or not being a burden.
In CarePair
The care guide takes two minutes and points you to a starting place. Add the person you are caring for, invite family to the care circle, and upload documents once. A Cardinal advisor can take the next steps with you, free for families.
Official sources
These open another website. We link only to government agencies and established nonprofits.
- NY Connects (opens another site) · New York's free front door for long-term care help.
- Eldercare Locator (opens another site) · 1-800-677-1116. Local aging services anywhere in the U.S.
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General information for families in Western New York, written by Cardinal Care Advisors. Not medical or legal advice; a physician, an elder law attorney, or a licensed assessor decides the things that need deciding. Tell us if something here is wrong or out of date: hello@thecardinalgroup.org.